Couples therapy

Couples don't usually come to therapy because they stopped loving each other. They come because they keep having the same fight, or because something has gone quiet between them, or because closeness itself has started to feel threatening.

Relational psychoanalytic work takes seriously the idea that what happens between two people is never just about those two people.

 

Each person brings a history — ways of needing, ways of protecting, ways of being in relation to others that were formed long before this relationship began. Those patterns don't disappear at the couple's edge. They meet in the middle, often without anyone quite knowing it.

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The work is about making that visible — slowly, carefully — so that what feels like a conflict about dishes or distance or desire can be understood for what it actually is. That understanding doesn't dissolve the tension, but it changes what the tension means. And that changes what's possible.

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I work with couples in all relationship structures, including those in ethically non-monogamous and polyamorous relationships.

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Couples work is available for partners at any stage — including those navigating separation or the aftermath of a relationship that has already ended.